Sunday, April 18, 2010
Virginal Blogging. My first post.
10 ways to bring up an atheist child...
1. Force him or her to go to church every Sunday without exception, sometimes twice.
2. Make your child go to Christian youth fellowship group because they will make appropriate friends there.
3. Tell your child every day to be good, otherwise god won't want them in Heaven, and will punish them if they aren't.
4. Make your child pray every evening ensuring there are lots of 'sorry this' and 'sorry that' statements included in the prayer so that they feel they are a bad person and mainly without value as a human being.
5. Use the bible as a lie detector - ie, make your child place their hand on it and state whether or not they were 'guilty' of a misdomeanor, reasserting that if they lie on the bible they will burn hideously in hell.
6. Discourage creative thought. "What should I do mum?" "Well, what would Jesus do?"
7. Remind your child that they can't question whether god exists as he doesn't like it.
8. If your child asks pertinent questions about evidence of gods existence, assure them that they simply have to have faith.
9. Answer every question your child asks about nature with "Because God made it that way."
10. Always invite the Jehovah's witnesses in, when everyone else tells them to bugger off, and have them in the living room with their pamphlets when your mates come round for tea.
This upbringing will guarantee that your child will become a strong athiest, not necessarily immediately, but eventually, and with great gratitude to you for having opened their eyes to all that is total bollocks in the world.
1. Force him or her to go to church every Sunday without exception, sometimes twice.
2. Make your child go to Christian youth fellowship group because they will make appropriate friends there.
3. Tell your child every day to be good, otherwise god won't want them in Heaven, and will punish them if they aren't.
4. Make your child pray every evening ensuring there are lots of 'sorry this' and 'sorry that' statements included in the prayer so that they feel they are a bad person and mainly without value as a human being.
5. Use the bible as a lie detector - ie, make your child place their hand on it and state whether or not they were 'guilty' of a misdomeanor, reasserting that if they lie on the bible they will burn hideously in hell.
6. Discourage creative thought. "What should I do mum?" "Well, what would Jesus do?"
7. Remind your child that they can't question whether god exists as he doesn't like it.
8. If your child asks pertinent questions about evidence of gods existence, assure them that they simply have to have faith.
9. Answer every question your child asks about nature with "Because God made it that way."
10. Always invite the Jehovah's witnesses in, when everyone else tells them to bugger off, and have them in the living room with their pamphlets when your mates come round for tea.
This upbringing will guarantee that your child will become a strong athiest, not necessarily immediately, but eventually, and with great gratitude to you for having opened their eyes to all that is total bollocks in the world.
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8 comments:
Ah! I suspected you'd suffered a childhood like this, and I totally agree. Anyone with a spark of individuality left after that sort of upbringing would instantly become an atheist.
But what you were taught is a travesty of God. God is not some Victorian schoolmaster wagging an angry finger at all the naughty human beings and writing their (many) bad deeds down in a little black book, to be used against them at judgment time (if there is such a thing. I doubt it.)
God is love itself and can be experienced by going inwards.
Thankyou for your well meaning concern, and I am happy for you that you find comfort in the idea that god exists, but I am happy in my belief that he or it, doesn't, so your concern is misdirected.
God is love? I am happy with the human, flawed, sort of love that I have in abundance from family and friends. I feel lucky that i don't need to believe that a god loves me. I think that is actually what I found so debilitating about 'divine' love. It's all about striving, trying to be better, trying to do go, striving to be worthy. I like rubbish human love from crappy human beings. It's real. Sometimes it's there, and sometimes it's not. It's not divine, or all encompassing, or filling me full of the holy spirit, but it exists, and when it's in short supply too, that's okay, because now I love myself enough to get by, whereas when i was never good enough for god, I sort of didn't.
Thanks for your comment though, and good luck ;-)
No, sorry but you've got it wrong.
Whatever you may have been told, God's love is not about striving to be worthy etc., it's the exact opposite. It's unconditional love par excellence, exactly as I am now - not as I was or as I will be. Love without any strings whatsoever; love on which the best sort of human love is based. It's the sort of love which allows me to be exactly who I am.
I have a real problem with evangelical Christianity precisely because it does such damage to people and peddles simplistic half- (or less than half) truths. It leaves no room for debate. IMHO, religion (or atheism) is a waste of time unless it's approached with an open mind.
"God is unconditional love" and not "finger wagging"?
Flicking through the Bible, I don't see that at all - even if the shock and awe god of the Old Testament is put to one side.
I subscribe to many of the tenents held in common by the major world religions - treat people how you wish to be treated etc, but I don't need a god, or an imaginary friend, to do that.
How would you define your version of ''god''?
@Nirvana, do you really expect an answer to such a question? For a christian to define God without simple wishy washy statements is, let's face it, pretty much impossible.
I'd be interested all the same as ''our'' atheist interpretations appear to be outdated?
Nupenny is right - I can't define God. The very word "God" implies something too great to be put in my back pocket and used to support my own ideas (which is how God is often used).
I can only tell you a bit about the tiny bit of God of which I am aware, and that's the God within me. If you're a psychologist you'd probably think of it as the unconscious. Whatever name you choose to give it, it seems to be a vast repository of support, strength, guidance, and yes, love. If God is somehow part of me, then God is able to love me as an individual, rather than with some vague, generalised pat on the head which is no good at all.
IMHO, I can connect with it through going inwards, through meditation, art, etc. I am particularly aware of it through eureka moments, serendipity, happy coincidences, and the inner strength it provides.
I also think we connect with each other at some deep, unconscious level - maybe that's how the coincidences happen, like someone rings you at the exact moment you need it. That sort of thing.
Of course, this raises all sorts of questions about evil. Is there evil within us as well as good? if so, do I think God is both good and evil? If not, where does evil come from? But maybe these are questions for another discussion?
You state here that you can't define god. Sorry, I alreaded commented on the other thread re that, before i read this one.
You are an intellectual and academic christian. I am used to this approach as it is unfortunately prevalent in my family. You say "I can only tell you a bit about the tiny bit of God of which I am aware, and that's the God within me. If you're a psychologist you'd probably think of it as the unconscious. Whatever name you choose to give it, it seems to be a vast repository of support, strength, guidance, and yes, love. If God is somehow part of me, then God is able to love me as an individual, rather than with some vague, generalised pat on the head which is no good at all."
This interests me. Whatever name you give 'it'. Here you cite the love, support, strength as the primary product, that 'something' you refer to as 'it' gives you. Your god's exists solely to provide you with love and support. It is not an objective entity that others share, in reality, it is a subjective 'feeling' or psychological state, within yourself.
I think we're getting somewhere. If you are not afraid to consider the idea that this 'inner voice' may be your unconscious mind, or perhaps even your own cognitive awareness, then why have 'god' at all. You are whole, as you are. You said it.
We have only called what we cant see, or clearly understand, 'god' because re the other thread, humans need a reason, a thing, an explanation, and have done since the scriptures were written. You don't believe in 'god', you have actually expressed how your feelings of spirituality, love, wonder, joy, fear, etc, come from within your own consciousness. Well done, friend and thank you for your honestly and interesting comments.
ps. You also say "God is able to love me as an individual, rather than with some vague, generalised pat on the head which is no good at all." No good at all to whom? Is the need for unconditional love at the heart of so much belief in 'god'. I suspect so. Learning to give yourself your own unconditional love and support is an amazing journey, and one I hope you may one day undertake.
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