tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18209510118368850782024-02-19T10:30:09.226-05:00The Big E - When it Comes to Lies Religion is the BiggieReligion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll go to to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money! --George CarlinPaulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.comBlogger71125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-29563243636463106972011-03-04T11:31:00.000-05:002011-03-04T11:31:10.041-05:00God Arrested Allegedly Masturbating Outside of All Boys School<div class="MsoNormal">Renowned anti homosexual campaigner God (aka Jehovah, Yahweh, YWHY, Elohim and Adonai – age indeterminate) was arrested Sunday with His penis in hand and allegedly masturbating in mysterious ways. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The alleged crime took place outside the Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception all boys school while the children were playing during lunchtime recess.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">One of the children noticed a suspicious character described as “in his own image” with his face pressed to the bars of the school fencing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A protuberance, later identified as God’s penis, was also observed poking through the fencing.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">God has been required to sign the Sex Offenders register.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had previous accusations of non-consensual sex, mass genocide and violent outbursts resulting in death or harm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of which were dropped due to insufficient evidence of God’s actual existence. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“If you can’t prove I exist” said God through a spokespastor, “then you certainly cannot prove that I was the perpetrator of these crimes”.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">He has thrice denied all charges.</div>Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-60351574427334611892011-02-09T15:46:00.000-05:002011-02-09T15:46:59.153-05:00Logical Arguments for the Existence of God<object style="height: 390px; width: 640px;"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xcGJ9eN5DKM?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xcGJ9eN5DKM?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></object>Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-33705813327285718762011-02-07T15:39:00.000-05:002011-02-07T15:39:56.785-05:00The Incredulity Meter - Get Yours TodayNo god in your life? Are you too wrapped up in your closed-minded materialistic scientific world view to detect the hand of god in everything in your life? If so, you need the amazing, new "Incredulity Meter(TM)".<br />
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Sorry, no refunds, all sales final.Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-68596065204916016792010-05-03T16:54:00.000-04:002010-05-03T16:54:03.415-04:00The Catholic Priest's Dilemma<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="598" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwXWJXG3oMbyyo9QHaE9KggPEmrqUwndYMuNBeIXt_7hr-3xuGlmke4QBfV6A-0iM56jbwwSwZKPvdRSv-XEu236ZTHEBweqJ64xbGL9qj92TH-rFdokoGeVn9MqG96XUi_6XSi5n6PYJ2/s640/PriestSlept.jpg" width="640" /></div>Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-9724810276305787242010-05-03T08:19:00.003-04:002010-05-03T08:35:44.546-04:00Would You Take 22 Cents for your Dignity?<p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px">If dealing with religious screwballs hasn’t fully deflated your expectations of mankind, I have the perfect final crushing blow for any optimism you may have retained hiding in the recesses of your mind.<font> </font>It is simple and elegant: hold a yard sale.<font> </font>Nothing is guaranteed to wipe from your heart any final hopeful residue for this species of ours.<font> </font>No, by lunchtime you will be driven half mad with the shuffling parade of people who thought it perfectly appropriate to show their faces to the world wearing flip-flops, ill-fitting track pants, and stained t-shirts bought at a previous yard sale, or too-tight acid-wash jeans with a polka-dot tube top, with scarecrow hair and even scarier, crowier faces: pinched, vulture-eyed, pursed-lipped; pawing, rooting for truffles, hands clutching greasy crumpled wads of cash, scattering your organization and engaging you in rambling batty conversation, mumbling stories about some guy they knew back in 1976 who had a hat just like that, and their mother in the nursing home whose silver pattern was the exact same, and how they used to see Louis Prima play in Vegas, and oh, what was the name of that other guy…. Zzzzz….</p><p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px">And always, always the haggling, even over things priced very well.<font> </font>Someone approached the table of my grandma’s tackiest costume jewelry that no one in the family had wanted after she died, asking, “Don’t you have any real gold jewelry for like, 50 cents?”<font> </font>A tumbleweed then blew down the street and the crickets broke into chorus.<font> </font>No, I said, fingering the tin brooch of a frizzy-headed cartoony woman bearing the legend, “BAD HAIR DAY,” I was afraid we didn’t.</p><blockquote> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 6px">Woman: How much is this vacuum?</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 6px">Me: $10.</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 6px">Woman: Would you take $5?</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 6px">Me: No</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 6px">Woman: $5?</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 6px">Me: NO. Ten bucks is fair.</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 6px">Woman: $5?</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 6px">Me: Look, if you ask me that again I'm going to kill you with it AND charge you $10, you silly bitch.</p></blockquote><p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px">OK, that last bit may have been in my head…</p><p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px">The histrionic unshaven man who argued as if presenting a court case over a difference of two dollars for my microwave; the stylish coiffed mavens who adored my vintage tablecloths but wouldn’t buy because they were too miserly; the bastard who bought my old SLR camera and when my back was turned pocketed a separate lens for it that he hadn’t paid for; the clean-cut man who looked sober as a judge while scooping up all of my books on paganism and witchcraft and scurried away almost salaciously with his quarry…we are all equals at a yard sale; the varying strata of society all commingle, wresting plates from one another to check the mark on the bottom, strewing your clothing about like a mid-tizzy Joan Crawford, poking through the old VHS tapes and CDs with disdain or perplexity at your taste, while you try with desperation and inexperience to be a hard-bargaining salesman offering up the detritus of your life, as if it is precious treasure, for a hard-won and always humiliatingly negotiated pittance.</p><p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px">Still, worth every moment for that $128 in ones and dimes. Especially when I came home from the neighboring sales with all kinds of bargains!</p>Bella Fortunahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02873179713313947561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-11725808147855653412010-05-01T13:11:00.000-04:002010-05-01T13:11:49.821-04:00Fast & Effective Palin Relief with Offdrill(tm) Tablets<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Palin relief doesn’t get any better than this…</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">For fast Palin relief, nothing has been proven to work better or last longer than Offdrilll®.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">You can't always stop for Palin. And Palin never stops for you. It's time you used advanced Offdrilll® for fast Palin relief. Doctors recommend Offdrilll® tablets for Palinache, for fuck’s ache, goodness ache, and minor ass Palin.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt3LTGqQjWOa32IbWgLEpZ1-2HFkWZICPFiqq6UXaxxnx-_fcl38eZCaKS4H4g-krzsD1OaesMnsFmdQnCYNQb_bc8Zdcdk2kVJdy_8-XoLYrB26A7P50ECzUPS_7jpMTGb8ErejOJvGqE/s320/OffDrill.jpg" /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;"></div>Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-24627727903608576712010-04-30T09:56:00.000-04:002010-04-30T09:56:02.357-04:00Suffer Little Children... Sickening Creationist Indoctrination<div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">This made me sad beyond belief.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Singing songs to impressionable minds to convince them that dinosaurs and man enjoyed a happy existence together a few thousand years ago!!! This should be a criminal offence.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">What chance do children indoctrinated with creationist bullshit have of becoming scientists, doctors, geologists, etc? The only career paths open to these poor kids are preachers or politicians.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Watch and weep at the incredulity of the mother of one child, "When you look at the Bible it just makes sense, it's easier to teach your children".</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">I am reminded of Luke 18:16 "But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God."</div><br />
<object height="385" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/z3bdtlNUlx4&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xd0d0d0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/z3bdtlNUlx4&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xd0d0d0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-30457276573452480532010-04-30T08:12:00.000-04:002010-04-30T08:12:27.635-04:00Tim Minchin Sums It Up - The Pope Song<p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px">This classic from Tim Minchin is doing the rounds on the blogosphere, and for good reason. It's fucking brilliant!!!</p><p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px">It's not safe for work, so watch the video when you're in safe company, or even better, in the presence of some Catholics.</p><p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px">Listen carefully, some of the lyrics are inspired.</p><p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px">Oh, and before I forget, fuck the motherfucker!!!</p><br />
<object style="height: 344px; width: 425px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fHRDfut2Vx0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fHRDfut2Vx0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"></object></embed>Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-29757804880102802072010-04-28T13:15:00.000-04:002010-04-28T13:15:04.105-04:00How To Stop Prosthelytizers Knocking At Your Door<div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Place this sign on your front door, relax and watch some TV safe in the knowledge that there is no point knocking.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Unless of course they are after your money, not your soul...</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs8pVZjbWkhArBDLRTNwNa_KpgNZ2ACC6c16dc2nTCkLUmBEBhpnfHzxAP4nlS_gcopndgD3k5-Rd449964kgFnME5xZRLYoGjAzhZc9UCbETFFB4avW9YGQqdU0keqpKggR9D6y-jNBqf/s640/Mark329.jpg" width="640" /></div>Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-79855349025855750712010-04-28T11:37:00.003-04:002010-04-28T11:42:59.245-04:00Okay So This Is What We are Dealing With...<p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px">This is from "The Atheist Experience" with Matt Dillahunty.</p><p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px">The caller asks the reasonable question "How do you know God isn't real?"</p><p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px">The descent into total ignorance is beyond belief.& It seems that our caller feels equipped to argue even though he does not know what "physics" is!</p><p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px">Enjoy, or more likely suffer and cringe...</p><br />
<object style="height: 344px; width: 425px;"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/sSFZvR-ssuk"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/sSFZvR-ssuk" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"></object> </embed>Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-15980138760340133652010-04-27T11:54:00.000-04:002010-04-27T11:54:06.307-04:00Evidence for the Resurrection - Well I Know 500 People Who Saw It...<div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">What is is about a Christian's inability to critically examine a claim? Is it an inability, or rather an unwillingness, just in case the claim turns out to be bogus?</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Without the resurrection of Jesus Christ, the tenets of Christianity are without substance. A Christian believes (faithfully) that Jesus was the divine son of God, that he was sacrificed to save us from our sins, and that he rose from the dead in a miraculous event. Never mind for a moment that any of that does not make a jot of sense, even if it were true.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">The paucity of evidence for this claim seems not to worry your average Christian. Outside of the Bible, there are no contemporary accounts of the resurrection of Jesus. Even the Gospels were written some 70 - 140 years after the supposed resurrection of Christ.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">A claim often touted by Christian supporting the historicity of the resurrection is the number of witnesses to the sight of Christ after the crucifixion. Paul the Apostle appeals to his audience that there were over 500 people witness to Christ's resurrection, many of whom were alive at the time of Paul's appeal.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">1 Corinthians 15:6 "After that, he was seen of above five hundred brethren at once; of whom the greater part remain unto this present, but some are fallen asleep."</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Over 500 eye-witness accounts testifying that they saw the living body of Christ. Who can possibly doubt this claim?</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Nothing has been found in the historical record substantiating ANY of these eye-witness accounts, other than Paul's appeal to his audience that these people existed. He's actually saying "If you don't believe me, go ask them for yourself."</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Well for a start, can anyone name any of them or where they lived?</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Secondly, why did not one of them run home and write about it? Or tell a contemporary about the event, who then might have put the story to paper?</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">This seems to settle the matter for your average Christian. Paul says there were eye-witnesses, and that's good enough "evidence" for me.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Sorry but it's not good enough. It's not even close.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Imagine you were testifying at a murder trial and under cross examination you told judge and jury that you knew of eye-witnesses who actually saw the murder take place. </div><blockquote><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">"Fantastic, case proven beyond reasonable doubt" says the prosecutor.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">The defense attorney might be tempted to ask "Can you name any of these eye-witnesses so we can call them to testify?"</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">"Well no I can't name any of them, but believe me they saw it happen." you reply.</div></blockquote><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">You've heard the expression "laughed out of court" before I take it?</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Were every single one of these alleged 500 eye-witnesses illiterate and/or mute? Why did not one of them write an account of this miraculous event?</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Surely some would have run home and said "You'll never believe what I saw this morning honey..."</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">If 500 eye-witness accounts of the resurrection of Jesus actually happened, surely someone, somewhere would have managed to record this event for posterity?</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Clearly not. But to a Christian the simple claim by Paul the Apostle in a letter he wrote is enough evidence to support their fantasies.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">The trouble is, a Christian wants it to be true. If it's not, then they have some issues to deal with. You want the truth? A Christian can't handle the truth... which is strange since they are always telling us about God's Truth.</div>Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-72523825262614001782010-04-27T09:35:00.000-04:002010-04-27T09:35:24.451-04:00I Didn't See God's Name on the Ballot Did You?<div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">This is exactly the reason why I am a "militant atheist". I don't want to live in a theocracy thank you very much! I don't care which magical daddy in the sky you follow, I will not be an adherent of his or her rules.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Arizona Governor Jan Brewer has <a href="http://www.towleroad.com/2009/09/arizona-governor-takes-away-state-domestic-partner-benefits-says-god-has-placed-me-in-this-powerful-.html" target="_blank">overturned a state legislation</a> that previously extended benefits to domestic partners. For "domestic partner" read, "living in sin perverted Satanist's". </div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">This law was on the state legislation for only a year before Brewer got her hands on it. Additionally Brewer has eliminated children of domestic partners, full-time students ages 23-24 and disabled adult dependents.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Surprise, surprise, would you believe it, she thinks she's on a mission from the Christian god, "God has placed me in this powerful position as Arizona's Governor to help the state weather its troubles".</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">In doing God's work Brewer is under the impression that she should enforce bigotry and hatred against those who do not conform to her religious beliefs. This is a sneaky backdoor attack on same sex domestic partners and those living together in "sin" without a god-sanctioned marriage certificate.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">This is why only avowed atheists should be allowed to govern. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">All elected officials sworn in must include a blasphemous statement about the Holy Spirit to demonstrate their atheist position. As we all know, according to Mark 3:29 "But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation." It is the only unforgivable "sin" and guarantees a place in the fires of Hell.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Only then can we be assured that decisions made about our lives are not based on Bronze Age superstition, but more likely to be based on reason, good judgment and fairness.</div>Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-51176146171980392262010-04-26T20:43:00.003-04:002010-04-26T20:59:58.949-04:00God May or May Not Forgive Your Thieving Ways...HopefullyJudging by the overwhelming religious identification of the American prison population, we can give this guy credit for at least aiming his message to the appropriate audience.<br /><br /><br /><object style="background-image: url("http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/XjW7Pe9VYXM/hqdefault.jpg");" width="480" height="295"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XjW7Pe9VYXM&hl=en_US&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XjW7Pe9VYXM&hl=en_US&fs=1" allowscriptaccess="never" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="480" height="295"></embed></object>Bella Fortunahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02873179713313947561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-70577349449255467672010-04-26T16:54:00.003-04:002010-04-26T17:00:58.382-04:00Mohammad's Face Found on Toast, Allah Fears for His Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img align="left" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgUjNmCFpg0txreNkk8TrKQ1vjgQoX1qshQbRGcHIaDzFt31MAyCmPnLvTp65rU_4L_T0sjjMnE11LKoYSdCNgKUUdVVuVu0AEskjWnTf_78bwJGt2m0NnQPvTIB3K6w1rEv-2nrjEYUS1/s320/MoToast.jpg" /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">In a surprising turn of events, a piece of toast has been found revealing an image of the Prophet Mohammad (pictured left).</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Aamirah Hamad could not believe his own eyes when his freshly toasted bread slice popped out of his infidel western toaster.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">"Almighty Allah has blessed this house with a miracle" he proclaimed before falling prostrate in the dirt and facing eastwards.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">The Big E contacted imaginary Imam Arachnid Kazzam for comment."Almighty Allah has got some explaining to do about this" said Kazzam. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">"Allah knows full well that images of the Prophet, peace be upon Him, are strictly forbidden in Islam." Kazzam announced "Death be upon whoever draws an image of the Prophet, peace be upon him, and Almighty Allah Himself cannot expect to have special dispensations."</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">The Big E attempted to contact Allah for comment, but concluded that he must already be in hiding as he was nowhere to be found.</div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden" /><!--Session data--><input id="jsProxy" onclick="jsCall();" type="hidden" /><div id="refHTML"></div>Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-34209229291518817072010-04-26T12:48:00.003-04:002010-04-26T13:21:10.455-04:00British To Hide All Phallic-Shaped Objects for Pope's Visit<div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">LONDON (The Big E). Taking a lesson from the pope's recent visit to Malta and the scandal about a <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8617305.stm" target="_blank">phallic sculpture</a> the Vicar of Christ might have seen, the British government has taken a bold step to avoid further controversy.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">The pope is due to visit the UK in September, already under difficult circumstances as he is the head of an organized pedophilia crime ring. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">This minor controversy pales into insignificance in the face of such obvious phallic monstrosities that are common in Britain, and which might possibly offend the pope's sensibilities.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">The British government has ordered the temporary removal of all penis-shaped monuments, towers, chimneys and in fact anything that might be mistaken for an erect cock by a pope type figure.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">If he had been interviewed by The Big E, we think that Foreign Secretary David Miliband might have responded, "He (the pope) is an important dignitary and a visiting head of some kind of state-like thing. We would hate for him to suffer any embarrassment while he comes over here to fiddle with our kids."</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Miliband might have gone on to say something like, "We will be taking down Big Ben, Nelson's Column and Cleopatra's Needle for the duration of the pope's visit. Once he's buggered off home we will re-erect them restoring them to their former pride."</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">This radical approach has its critics who have not been slow to point out the huge cost to British tax payers.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">An alternative approach has been suggested to crowd the "offending" objects with thousand's of choir boys, thus hopefully distracting the pope's attention from the cock-shaped obelisks while he gazes lustfully on the beauty of small children.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">We imagine Miliband to also have said, "We are encouraging factory owners with big smoke-stack chimneys to have these removed during the pope's tour of our proud country."</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Additional reporting from Paul, our Foreign Penis Shaped Things Correspondent</div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden" /><!--Session data--><input id="jsProxy" onclick="jsCall();" type="hidden" /><div id="refHTML"></div>Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-17472774999784342952010-04-26T08:59:00.002-04:002010-04-26T09:03:52.713-04:00Deceptive "Rapture" Doctrine Dupes Millions - How's That News?<div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">From <a href="http://www.christiannewswire.com/news/6422913710.html" target="_blank">Christian Newswire</a> Monday April 26, 2010</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Oh the irony is strong with this one. Steve Wohlberg, TV producer, radio host and bestselling author explains, "Look carefully, all New Testament verses quoted to promote the secret rapture doctrine--1 Thess. 4:17; 1 Cor. 15:52; Matt. 24:40—don't teach it at all. They really apply to the highly visible, loud, earthshaking Second Coming of Jesus Christ, and not to the novel and unbiblical notion of 'disappearing Christians' seven years before the end."</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">The "The Rapture" is the concept where millions of Christians believe that they will fly up into the sky to be taken to heaven in Jesus' arms. Wohlberg disputes this stating that it has no Biblical support and then explains the history of The Rapture and how it became a Christian meme.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Of course Wohlberg is absolutely correct on this matter. Where Wohlberg is wrong, is that he doesn't seem to understand the the whole idea of a divine Jesus and his Second Coming (weather permitting) is also complete fantasy.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Wohlberg has written a book with words and everything, more details <a href="http://www.nosecretrapture.com/" target="_blank">here</a>.</div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden" /><input id="jsProxy" onclick="jsCall();" type="hidden" /><br />
<div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden" /><!--Session data--><input id="jsProxy" onclick="jsCall();" type="hidden" /><div id="refHTML"></div>Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-49735595282087046882010-04-25T14:33:00.003-04:002010-04-25T14:50:37.166-04:00Second Coming Delayed Due to Bad Weather<div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">CHURCH CANAVERAL, Fla. (AP) -- Rain and overcast skies prevented Jesus Christ from returning to Earth on Monday, and God's Mission Control instructed Jesus to spend another millennium circling the world awaiting better weather.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">God's Mission Control prayed up the disappointing news after passing up two second coming attempts.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">''The folks really prayed it hard down here. There was a lot of cause for optimism ... but at the end of the day the clouds remained too low and too thick." a spokesperson for God's Mission Control said.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">''We appreciate everything you've done,'' replied Jesus via a message burned into a piece of toast, ''and I'm hopeful for better weather sometime during next millennium.'' He urged prayer controllers to get some rest.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Clearer skies are expected sometime in the next millennium. If the clouds linger, however, God's Mission Control will try for the backup second coming site at the Creation Museum in Kentucky. The first second coming opportunity is at 7:34 a.m., shortly after sunrise.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Jesus and his flaming sword in his mouth will remain in heaven for the moment. In the meantime he's wrapping up a resupply mission to the International Church Station.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">If Jesus aims for KY, it should provide a rare visual treat for early raptured risers in Chicago and Indianapolis -- indeed, all along Jesus' second coming flight path. His streaking, glowing trail will be visible from below, weather permitting, as Jesus flies across western Canada, and the central and southeastern United States.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">The first second coming attempt would have Jesus zooming over Vancouver Island and southern Alberta, down over the northern border of Montana and North Dakota, Minnesota near Minneapolis and St. Paul, then Chicago and Indianapolis, eastern Kentucky and eastern Tennessee, the western side of the Carolinas, eastern Georgia and, finally, out over the Atlantic into Church Canaveral.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">The last time a returning Jesus flew over so much of the United States was in 2007. No further re-second comings like this are planned as the Jesus program draws to a close. God's Mission Control has tried to keep continental flyovers to a minimum for public safety reasons.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Typically, a Jesus returns from the southwest, zooming up over the South Pacific, Central America, and the Gulf of Mexico. God's Mission Control changed Jesus' flight path before liftoff on Easter Monday 33AD, to maximize Jesus' heaven time and reduce fatigue.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">A touchdown at the Creation Museum in KY would eliminate an expansive flyover. Instead, Jesus would come in from the north and head down the West Coast.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">The volcanic eruption in Iceland, at least, was not interfering with God's Mission Control effort to bring Jesus home. The second coming path does not go anywhere near the European airspace threatened by volcanic ash.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Jesus undocked from heaven on Saturday, leaving behind tons of saved souls so paradise can operate for years to come. Jesus' biggest contribution to the mission was as the savior of many right wing Republicans souls.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;"><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2010/04/19/science/AP-US-Space-Shuttle.html" target="_blank">http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2010/04/19/science/AP-US-Space-Shuttle.html</a></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden" /><!--Session data--><input id="jsProxy" onclick="jsCall();" type="hidden" /><div id="refHTML"></div>Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-77529941297144135922010-04-24T16:07:00.000-04:002010-04-24T16:07:50.016-04:00National Day of Doing What The Hell You Want<div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Appropriately the National Day of Prayer has been ruled unconstitutional as the government has absolutely taken sides with a religious worldview. The fact that a government sponsored day of support for the Christian faith even happened in the first place is mind boggling. On reflection I think not, it was a Bush initiative after all.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">What is it about the simple concept of the separation of church and state that people find so hard to understand? People may disagree with it and prefer a Theocracy in its stead, but we live in a democracy where the law is king. Fight the law if you feel justified, but do so through the proper channels.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">The constitution is clear on this issue and trying to sneak exceptions through the back door is disingenuous. There is no case to reinstate the prayer day and arguing for it is going against the constitution as it stands. You may argue that the constitution requires amendment and that the separation of church and state should be dissolved. Argue that and I'll fight you tooth and nail, but you can and do have the right to argue your case. But you do not have the right to flip the bird at the constitution and go ahead with your plans regardless.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">I may have a win-win suggestion. The National Day of Prayer could be replaced with a National Day of Reflection. If you want to pray you most certainly can, but if you want to actually do something useful, you can have a think about things and see what you come up with. This idea in no way lends credence to any specific religion, it just simply supports the notion that you take some time out to reflect. And we could all do with some of that, right?</div>Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-75359320282031967462010-04-24T12:34:00.002-04:002010-04-24T12:37:11.316-04:00Nonsense on the Rocks, With a Vitriol Chaser<blockquote> <div style="border-left: 5px solid #C0C0C0"> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px"><b><br />
<font size="5">Legal Victory Raises Profile of an Atheist Group</font></b></p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; margin-left:12px">By <a title="More Articles by Dirk Johnson" class="meta-per" target="_blank" href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/people/j/dirk_johnson/index.html?inline=nyt-per">DIRK JOHNSON</a></p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">Published: April 23, 2010</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">MADISON, Wis. — Annie Laurie Gaylor clicked through a flurry of e-mail messages warning her to repent or she would burn in hell.<p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">“Herod,” one messenger called her.</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">Ms. Gaylor leaned back and sipped from a cup of tea, unfazed and even a bit surprised at the relative tameness of the attacks. Fresh from her latest godless triumph, she had expected more vitriol.</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">“It used to be a lot worse,” said Ms. Gaylor, 54, an <a title="More articles about atheism." class="meta-classifier" target="_blank" href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/subjects/a/atheism/index.html?inline=nyt-classifier">atheist</a> whose organization, the <a target="_blank" href="http://www.ffrf.org/">Freedom From Religion Foundation</a>, recently won a suit in federal court here that declared the National Day of Prayer to be a violation of the First Amendment. “Things are changing. Society is becoming more secularized. It’s becoming acceptable to be atheist and agnostic. And there are more of us.”</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">The nation’s population continues to show signs of becoming less religious, according to the American Religious Identification Survey. The number of people in 2008 calling themselves atheist or agnostic, or stating no religious preference, is an estimated 15 percent, nearly double the percentage in the early 1990s. Around the country, nonbeliever clubs are springing up on college campuses. </p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">Headquartered in a former Episcopal rectory in the shadow of the State Capitol, Freedom From Religion was founded in 1976 by Ms. Gaylor — then a student at the <a title="More articles about University of Wisconsin" class="meta-org" target="_blank" href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/organizations/u/university_of_wisconsin/index.html?inline=nyt-org">University of Wisconsin</a> — and her mother, Anne Nicol Gaylor, who remains a fierce advocate for “free thought” at age 83. The co-president of the group is Annie Laurie Gaylor’s husband, Dan Barker, a former evangelical minister.</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">The Freedom From Religion Foundation claims a membership of more than 14,000, the largest group in the country advocating for atheists and agnostics. It has doubled its staff to eight in the last year, publishes a newspaper 10 times a year, Freethought Today, and has a weekly radio show. The group counts among its members and vocal supporters <a title="More articles about Janeane Garofalo." class="meta-per" target="_blank" href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/people/g/janeane_garofalo/index.html?inline=nyt-per">Janeane Garofalo</a>, <a title="More articles about Christopher Hitchens." class="meta-per" target="_blank" href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/people/h/christopher_hitchens/index.html?inline=nyt-per">Christopher Hitchens</a> and <a title="More articles about Ronald Prescott Reagan." class="meta-per" target="_blank" href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/people/r/ronald_prescott_reagan/index.html?inline=nyt-per">Ron Reagan</a>.</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">Over the years, the group has won a suit to stop Bible instruction in a Tennessee school district, overturned a Madison law ordering businesses to close for hours on Good Friday and stopped a Colorado public school from requiring students to do volunteer work at churches.</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">The group’s biggest victory to date came last week when Judge Barbara B. Crabb of Federal District Court ruled that the federal government could not enact a law in support of prayer any more than it could “encourage citizens to fast during the month of Ramadan, attend a synagogue, purify themselves in a sweat lodge or practice rune magic.” The law, signed by President <a title="More articles about Harry S. Truman." class="meta-per" target="_blank" href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/people/t/harry_s_truman/index.html?inline=nyt-per">Harry S. Truman</a> in 1952, calls on the president to sign a proclamation annually in observance of a National Day of Prayer.</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">The judge said the ruling would be stayed for 60 days to give the Obama administration, whose lawyers defended the prayer day in court, the chance to file an appeal. On Thursday, the White House said it would appeal and that, in the meantime, the president would sign this year’s prayer proclamation, as scheduled, on May 6.</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">The court ruling drew fire from the private National Day of Prayer Task Force. Michael Calhoun, a spokesman, described it as “an attack upon the religious heritage” of the nation. He criticized the Madison organization.</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">“It is a sad day in America when an atheist in Wisconsin,” he said, “can undermine this tradition for millions of others.”</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">It is still not easy being an atheist in public. No corporate group gives money to the foundation. Ms. Gaylor said she typically avoids making her views on political candidates public, calling it “the kiss of death” to be endorsed by an organization of nonbelievers.</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">She acknowledged voting for Mr. Obama, and expressed disappointment that his administration has defended the prayer day law. “I don’t give him a pass,” she said. “He’s a constitutional scholar. He knows we’re right.”</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">As a middle school student, young Annie Laurie would travel around the state with her mother, who barnstormed for feminist causes like legal abortion and access to contraceptives.</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">Children at school would sometimes look askance when they learned that she and her siblings were growing up without religion. “But there was a little envy, too,” she said. “It was like, ‘You mean you don’t have to get up in the morning and go to church?’ ”</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">The elder Ms. Gaylor, who wrote a book titled, “Abortion is a Blessing,” regarded religion as the enemy of equal rights for women. “I never liked fairy tales,” she said. “And I didn’t like people passing them off as truths.”</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">For his part, Mr. Barker, 60, grew up in Southern California and began evangelizing as a teenager. He left the ministry in his early 30s after coming to realize that he did not believe the Bible.</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">“I just had to fess up and say, ‘This is nonsense,’ ” Mr. Barker said.</p> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left:12px">He travels the country spreading the word of another sort — doing what his wife calls “reverse penance” — engaging in debates, delivering talks and offering musical performances in the name of godlessness. He plays the piano and sings atheist songs. One of his favorite numbers: “You Can’t Win Original Sin.”</p> </div></blockquote><p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 12px">Original source <a target="_blank" href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/24/us/24atheist.html?ref=todayspaper">here</a></p>Bella Fortunahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02873179713313947561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-42074894041552817682010-04-24T12:30:00.002-04:002010-04-24T12:34:12.094-04:00Today's English Lesson*Sigh* Try to ignore the unintentionally ironic spelling mistakes. [/grammarnazi]<br /><br /><object style="background-image: url("http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/PVPkcyM4ohw/hqdefault.jpg");" width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PVPkcyM4ohw&hl=en_US&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PVPkcyM4ohw&hl=en_US&fs=1" allowscriptaccess="never" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Bella Fortunahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02873179713313947561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-6334609002812292432010-04-24T11:34:00.000-04:002010-04-24T12:01:17.888-04:00Everybody Draw Mohammed Day - May 30thIn a show of support for fellow cartoonists Matt Stone and Tray Parker, Molly Norris has declared May 30th to be "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day".<br />
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Norris says it is "...not meant to disrespect any religion, but rather meant to protect people's right to express themselves."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://hphotos-snc3.fbcdn.net/hs491.snc3/26831_389421154095_705364095_3773511_7644250_n.jpg" width="216" /></imageanchor="1"></div>Terrorists and fundamentalist that can offer nothing but threats of violence in defense of their imaginary friend must be shown that free speech will win the day.<br />
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You can read the original story <a href="http://www.mynorthwest.com/?nid=11&sid=313170" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
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<div id="refHTML"></div>Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-35554414406418022812010-04-23T16:49:00.004-04:002010-04-23T17:01:06.836-04:00The RaptureHat(TM) - GUARANTEED to Save Your Soul<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: red; font-size: medium;"><b>Are you a fucking Jew, a Muslim terrorist, a pussy Hindu, or an asshole Jehovah's Witness, or even worse a goddamn atheist?</b></span></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: red; font-size: medium;"><b>Do you worry that you won't get into heaven and sit beside Jesus and fawn at His feet?</b></span></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: red; font-size: medium;"><b>Are you shitting bricks that the Rapture could happen any second BEFORE you have accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?</b></span></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: red; font-size: medium;"><b>Are you concerned that your life of sin will send you to an afterlife of eternal torment and pain?</b></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">If you're not a born again saved-by-the-grace-of-Jesus Christian, you <b><span style="color: red;">MUST</span></b> read on, this special <span style="color: red;"><b>limited time</b></span> offer might just save your eternal soul....</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Every single day 300,000 people die on this planet, the vast majority of these sinners are heading straight to the flames of Hell. Imagine your soul suffering the pain of eternal torment under the supervision of your loving creator God. Think of your skin being burnt from your body because you failed to accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Jesus will come "as a thief in the night" and rapture those who have accepted him as their Lord and savior. The rest of you will suffer on Earth until such a time as the almighty God throws you screaming into the lake of fire. Then you'll be fucked and that's for sure.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: red; font-size: medium;"><b>But fear not, for the solution to your troubles is only the a click of the mouse away.</b></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Imagine if you could save your immortal soul from the fire of Hell with only the click of a mouse and the input of your credit card number. What a relief it would be to be safe in the knowledge that you are saved, no matter what you believe.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Here at <i>Yahweh's Eternal Solutions Infinite Trusting Souls Christian Rapture Apologetic Partners</i> (YESITSCRAP) we have developed the perfect solution to <span style="color: red;"><u><b>save your soul</b></u></span>, and you could even be a Catholic child rapist and still get your eternal heavenly reward - all for the minimal effort of a simple mouse click.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Yes, we <b><span style="color: red;">DO</span></b> have the solution. 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</tbody></table><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 12px;">God loves you, but he loves to burn you more. Order your <b>RaptureHat<sup>TM</sup></b> today and save yourself. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">But wait!!!</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Order <b><span style="color: red;">TODAY</span></b> and receive a second <b>RaptureHat<sup>TM</sup></b> for FREE (plus shipping, handling and praying fees). That's right, you get a second <b>RaptureHat<sup>TM</sup></b> for FREE. We can't do this all day! You must <b>ACT NOW</b>.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">This offer is 100% GUARANTEED. If you're not raptured**, we will refund your entire purchase, plus we'll give you double your money back. It's risk free, so why are you waiting?</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">* Shipping, handling and praying fees vary based on your current level of godlessness. These fees will be added once you have confirmed your order. Trust us, we're Christian, we won't rip you off.<br />
** If you're not wearing the <b>RaptureHat<sup>TM</sup></b> at the moment of the Rapture, you can fuck yourself if you think you're getting your money back. </div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden" /><input id="jsProxy" onclick="jsCall();" type="hidden" /><br />
<div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden" /><!--Session data--><input id="jsProxy" onclick="jsCall();" type="hidden" /><div id="refHTML"></div>Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-26778106112470032512010-04-23T13:26:00.002-04:002010-04-23T14:47:35.335-04:00Matt & Trey Speak Out<div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Matt Parker & Trey Stone have made an official statement about last Wednesday's airing of South Park episode 201.</div><blockquote><div style="border-left: 5px solid rgb(192, 192, 192);"><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">In the 14 years we've been doing South Park we have never done a show that we couldn't stand behind. We delivered our version of the show to Comedy Central and they made a determination to alter the episode. It wasn't some meta-joke on our part. Comedy Central added the bleeps. In fact, Kyle's customary final speech was about intimidation and fear. It didn't mention Muhammad at all but it got bleeped too. We'll be back next week with a whole new show about something completely different and we'll see what happens to it.</div></div></blockquote><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">So it seems that censorship wins the day again. Why cannot the networks stand up to terrorist fundamental threats?</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">In response to each and every threat to a persons life or well being, every single network should air a response simultaneously. Threats must not be tolerated and freedom of speech must prevail.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">You can see Matt & Trey's original statement <a href="http://www.southparkstudios.com/news/3878" target="_blank">here</a>.</div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden" /><!--Session data--><input id="jsProxy" onclick="jsCall();" type="hidden" /><div id="refHTML"></div>Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02413214868850403337noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-39505471325004974502010-04-23T11:02:00.004-04:002010-04-23T13:49:43.042-04:00Why do the poets not speak of it?<a href="http://www.thenation.com/doc/20100510/coyne">The Improbability Pump (Jerry Coyne in The Nation)</a><br />
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Readers of The Big E are probably familiar with Jerry Coyne's incisive comments on science and religion, often published to youtube.com in video form, and this long article is of a piece with his other output.<br />
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I was raised in a Christian fundamentalist household, and in church we often heard denunciations of Darwin's evolutionary theory, all with the same tired objections which do not require enumeration here. To this day I'm embarrassed that I was ever captivated by such arguments. The Drake equation, for example, was paraded before us by so-called scientific creationists (chiefly <a href="http://www.doesgodexist.org/">John Clayton</a>) to express the improbability of life arising by "chance:" only one kind of galaxy, one kind of parent star, one range of planetary orbit, one range of planetary makeup, and so forth, can give rise to "life as we know it." Though the constants in the Drake equation are all made up ones, it is true that even conservative guesses for these values do multiply out to an impressive degree of improbability: only a tiny fraction of worlds are potentially fecund. What was never mentioned in these sermons disguised as scientific lectures, was the <span style="font-style: italic;">denominator</span> in this fraction: the staggeringly huge number of galaxies (even within the now-provincial observable Universe that we knew at the time of speaking, before the Hubble deep field drove home the point with not just stars but galaxies, "like dust"), stars within each galaxy, and so forth.<br />
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What really "gets me" about the rejection of evolutionary theory is how creationists (and the children they indoctrinate) are cheated of the appreciation of the world which science reveals to us. For Darwin's idea is not merely simple, apprehendable by even young children, but a <span style="font-style: italic;">beautiful</span> one. That every living thing I will ever see is my cousin, that the world is very, <span style="font-style: italic;">very</span> old, "circling on according to the fixed law of gravity" within a Universe that is even older, that complex things have simple beginnings, built incrementally over millions of generations, is so wonderful to contemplate, so special, that I weep that a huge segment of our culture is willfully blind to it.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>There is indeed "grandeur in this view of life," as Darwin wrote in his conclusion to the <span style="font-style: italic;">Origin</span> in 1859. Grandeur that 150 years of study following Darwin's publication has only served to further illumine. And what a story, what a voyage of discovery! Even the "extreme imperfection of the geological record" (Darwin's phrase) as revealed by Lyell was not a deal breaker. How it would have heartened Lyell, Darwin, and Huxley to know of the Leakeys a bare century later! The shared story of life on our planet, as revealed by the fossil record, has been filled in piecewise, like the mosaic revealed by an archaeologists brush at Herculaneum or Pompeii. The results are well known to the reader, and would have been eminently sensible to Darwin.<br />
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But Darwin never knew Mendel, and was never prepared for the other record of DNA, discovered at Cambridge contemporaneously with the Leakey's early work. Remembering my travails over my high school geometry textbook, I like to think of DNA's corroboration of the fossil record as "the answers to selected exercises at the back of the book." Even if the geological record were very much more imperfect than it is, even if not one single fossil had ever seen the light of day to inspire a Darwin or a Wallace, the discovery of the deeply unifying principle of evolution by natural selection would only have been set back a century until a Pauling arrived to invent X-Ray crystallography, until a Franklin or a Watson or Crick applied it at the Cavendish. The correlation between these independent sources could not be more exact, because it <span style="font-style: italic;">is</span> exact, the same story told by two mute and blind storytellers.<br />
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I'm out of words. Here are some not by me.<br />
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"Poets say science takes away from the beauty of the stars - mere globs of gas atoms. I too can see the stars on a desert night, and feel them. But do I see less or more? The vastness of the heavens stretches my imagination - stuck on this carousel my little eye can catch one - million - year - old light. A vast pattern - of which I am a part... What is the pattern, or the meaning, or the why? It does not do harm to the mystery to know a little about it. For far more marvelous is the truth than any artists of the past imagined it. Why do the poets of the present not speak of it? What men are poets who can speak of Jupiter if he were a man, but if he is an immense spinning sphere of methane and ammonia must be silent?" -- Richard Phillips Feynman<br />
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'In some respects, science has far surpassed religion in delivering awe. How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, "This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed"? Instead they say, "No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way." ' -- Carl Sagan<br />
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"It is interesting to contemplate an entangled bank, clothed with many plants of many kinds, with birds singing on the bushes, with various insects flitting about, and with worms crawling through the damp earth, and to reflect that these elaborately constructed forms, so different from each other, and dependent on each other in so complex a manner, have all been produced by laws acting around us. These laws, taken in the largest sense, being Growth with Reproduction; Inheritance which is almost implied by reproduction; Variability from the indirect and direct action of the external conditions of life, and from use and disuse; a Ratio of Increase so high as to lead to a Struggle for Life, and as a consequence to Natural Selection, entailing Divergence of Character and the Extinction of less-improved forms. Thus, from the war of nature, from famine and death, the most exalted object which we are capable of conceiving, namely, the production of the higher animals, directly follows. There is grandeur in this view of life, with its several powers, having been originally breathed into a few forms or into one; and that, whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved." -- C. R. Darwin, On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection: Or, the Preservation of Favored Races in the Struggle for Life (London: John Murray. 1859.)Aronnaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102635593417102429noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1820951011836885078.post-29643425998045770122010-04-23T09:59:00.007-04:002010-04-23T13:17:08.828-04:00...Which Is, I Suppose, What They Want.<div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;"><a href="http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20627574.200-brain-shuts-off-in-response-to-healers-prayer.html" target="_blank">Brain shuts off in response to healer's prayer - 21 April 2010 - New Scientist</a></div><blockquote><div style="border-left: 5px solid rgb(192, 192, 192);"><div style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">21 April 2010 by <b> <a href="http://www.newscientist.com/search?rbauthors=Andy+Coghlan" target="_blank">Andy Coghlan</a></b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;">Magazine issue <a href="http://www.newscientist.com/issue/2757" target="_blank">2757</a>.</div><br />
<div class="infuse" style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 12px; margin-top: 12px; text-align: justify;">WHEN we fall under the spell of a charismatic figure, areas of the brain responsible for scepticism and vigilance become less active. That's the finding of a study which looked at people's response to prayers spoken by someone purportedly possessing divine healing powers.</div><div class="infuse" style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 12px; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">To identify the brain processes underlying the influence of charismatic individuals, <a href="http://person.au.dk/en/us@teo" target="_blank">Uffe Schjødt</a> of Aarhus University in Denmark and colleagues turned to Pentecostal Christians, who believe that some people have divinely inspired powers of healing, wisdom and prophecy.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;"></div></div><div class="infuse" style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 12px; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">Using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), Schjødt and his colleagues scanned the brains of 20 Pentecostalists and 20 non-believers while playing them recorded prayers. The volunteers were told that six of the prayers were read by a non-Christian, six by an ordinary Christian and six by a healer. In fact, all were read by ordinary Christians.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;"></div></div><div class="infuse" style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 12px; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">Only in the devout volunteers did the brain activity monitored by the researchers change in response to the prayers. Parts of the prefrontal and anterior cingulate cortices, which play key roles in vigilance and scepticism when judging the truth and importance of what people say, were deactivated when the subjects listened to a supposed healer. Activity diminished to a lesser extent when the speaker was supposedly a normal Christian (<i>Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience</i>, <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1093/scan/nsq023" target="_blank">DOI: 10.1093/scan/nsq023</a>).</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;"></div></div><div class="infuse" style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 12px; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">Schjødt says that this explains why certain individuals can gain influence over others, and concludes that their ability to do so depends heavily on preconceived notions of their authority and trustworthiness.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 12px; margin-top: 0pt;"></div></div><div class="infuse" style="margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 12px; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;">It's not clear whether the results extend beyond religious leaders, but Schjødt speculates that brain regions may be deactivated in a similar way in response to doctors, parents and politicians.</div></div></blockquote><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden" /><!--Session data--><input id="jsProxy" onclick="jsCall();" type="hidden" /><div id="refHTML"></div>Bella Fortunahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02873179713313947561noreply@blogger.com0