Tuesday, April 6, 2010
I Finished 2nd In a Race - Jesus Must Hate Me...
The guy who won was busy thanking Jesus for his victory while all I could do was wallow in my own self pity at my loss. Jesus must really love that guy to help him to win, and I lost, so Jesus must not like me very much.
Which brings me to my main point. I demand a re-run of the race, but this time my opponent is not allowed the assistance of a divine supernatural omnipotent being. I mean, what chance have I got against that? None!!! And that's cheating in my book, and my book is not the Bible. I ran the race fair and square without asking for assistance from an invisible hand.
I've changed my mind, I don't want a re-run. My victorious opponent must be disqualified as he clearly had help. I would like to propose to all sports regulators that anyone admitting help from God or Jesus with their victory immediately be disqualified for cheating.
They would be disqualified for using performance enhancing drugs after all wouldn't they? And if a divine omniscient being with a big beard is not performance enhancing, then I just don't know what is!
Which brings me to my main point. I demand a re-run of the race, but this time my opponent is not allowed the assistance of a divine supernatural omnipotent being. I mean, what chance have I got against that? None!!! And that's cheating in my book, and my book is not the Bible. I ran the race fair and square without asking for assistance from an invisible hand.
I've changed my mind, I don't want a re-run. My victorious opponent must be disqualified as he clearly had help. I would like to propose to all sports regulators that anyone admitting help from God or Jesus with their victory immediately be disqualified for cheating.
They would be disqualified for using performance enhancing drugs after all wouldn't they? And if a divine omniscient being with a big beard is not performance enhancing, then I just don't know what is!
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